Are You Ignoring the Elephant? What every parent needs to know about their child's behaviors

The teacher says he’s having a hard time paying attention.

The youth group leader says she’s always disruptive.

The tutor says he hardly says a word.

Things are fine at school but it’s a total struggle at home.

School is calling, but everything seems okay, as far as you know. 

You thought maybe your child was just quirky.

It must have been that 3rd-grade teacher.

When we got him away from the bullies at school we thought it would change.

She was always demanding as a small child and would have a ‘fit’ when she didn’t get her way. 

Everything seemed fine during the summer.

She refuses to go to school.

He won’t do his homework without a fight.

I’m nervous she won’t grow out of it.

I’m tiptoeing around the house afraid to set her off. It’s gotten worse.

They are always fighting.

I feel like I don’t know him/her anymore. 

I feel helpless.

I feel powerless.

I’m worried.

I’m scared. 

It’s not easy stuff — it’s messy, unpredictable, overwhelming, and totally stressful. Yet, your child needs you. They need you to be the adult, to set limits, to instill values, to be the LOVE when they are feeling unlovable, and to listen with an open heart, even when it’s uncomfortable. If you are worried and feel unsupported, ask for help. Reach out to other parents, find a community of people you trust, and ask for support.

Your child needs you. What you choose to do in moments when things are difficult will ripple out and impact their futures. No matter how scared or uncomfortable you are, be willing to show up with love and compassion, again and again. C

Q Creative Activity: 

Maybe you didn’t get the parent you wanted as a child or perhaps you longed to be a member of the Brady family. As an adult, you get to choose to embody the qualities you would have liked those adults in your life to possess.  Create an image of a compassionate, understanding parent who lovingly and firmly sets boundaries and takes action in the best interest of their child. Use collage images and cut out words and images, or get creative with markers, pencils paint, or fabric. Give this image a title and post it where you can see it to remind you of the qualities you would like to embody and what you are choosing to let go of. 

If you are worried that your child may need some support? Schedule a complimentary phone consultation to learn more.